I have been writing “a lot” in my journal (morning pages) and spending countless hours in my backyard, just thinking, and watching the birds.
Ruminating on this move to Southern Oregon
Being (almost) 53 years old
Living with and not in cancer
The heart break that comes with not being near my grown children
Cancer advocacy and my part in it,
Changing my landscape to a smaller town, fewer cars, and less diversity.
Soon to come changing (childhood) familial dynamics, (that includes tons of forgiveness and boundary making) and the pain that has come with that in such excruciating ways.
How it looks so different than what I expected. Most everything I thought I would be doing…I am in a few ways doing, but mostly not. This is not necessarily a bad thing, as I have been shedding that which does not serve me and discovering a new way.
Maybe it is not a new way, maybe this was the way all along, I just had to get here to this place to find it.
A new door.
It takes time.
It takes slowing down and showing up for yourself.
It takes contemplation and deep breaths.
Are you willing to #justshowup for yourself?
I will share my process here.
Because I need this.
And maybe you do too.
NOTE: I originally posted this on my instagram @authenticallylesley and also on my facebook page thinking no one would really care…..but the responses I have received via comments and direct messages have really touched a cord with people, so I decided to put it also on my blog. Thanks for all of your support and I hope you will let me know if this process works for you.
With all my heart.