#nowhiteflags

“I believe my future is bigger than my past.”  ~Steve Gleason

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I watched “Gleason” this past weekend on Amazon prime.   In a nutshell, it’s about ex NFL player Steve Gleason and his fight with ALS.   It is a must watch in my opinion….lending perspective on life, challenges, courage, faith, and intention.    There are many things that Steve Gleason said that made me stop the movie to blow  my snotty nose from the tears that ran continuously down my face blurring my vision and to also jot thoughts down on my iPhone.

A terminal diagnosis can really mess with your head. Honestly, it makes you want to run away to the moon.   ~Steve Gleason

YES!  This.  Being told I was incurable was probably one of the most debilitating moments of my life.  It makes you just want to disappear, before the disease has its way with you.  But it was a “moment” and not a position I took on living my life.

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Life is difficult. Not just for me or other ALS patients. Life is difficult for everyone. Finding ways to make life meaningful and purposeful and rewarding, doing the activities that you love and spending time with the people that you love – I think that’s the meaning of this human experience.  ~Steve Gleason

Everyone has their struggles and their challenges.  Mine is living beyond a diagnosis and being intentional in every decision I make.  I say “NO”  more often than I say “YES” .  Living a meaningful life is my number one goal.  It’s my only purpose.  I have had a  couple  people tell me recently, that I live a privileged life where I get to choose basically when and where and how, and I do most everything I want to do.  And it is true.  I am very blessed.  But  I also know that things can change in the blink of an eye….and so while I can, I will live just as I want to…doing everything I want to do and can do.  If that seems privileged then okay….I tend to think of it as #livewithnoregrets.

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I think about death all the time. I think that’s a good thing because we’re all going to die, and the only thing we can control is how we are and what we’re doing in the meantime.  ~ Steve Gleason

Me too.  And with that thought comes a freedom to live just as I want.  Mike and I have spent the past few years, simplifying, downsizing, getting rid of debt, (damn these school loans!)  so that we can do the things on our list, and live the rest of our lives doing exactly what we want, where we want.    And the cool thing is that we are making fast progress on the “rest of our life” plan.

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I look at the human life like an experiment. Every new moment, every new experience, tragic or otherwise, is an opportunity to gain a more accurate perspective and helps lead me to clarity.  ~ Steve Gleason

Cancer stole some things from my life.  It’s true.  However, I put my diagnosis on trial, and vowed that it would never “steal”  how I choose to live my life.  Cancer was not a gift, but a bump on my road that led me a different direction.  A better direction with a clearer view of what IS important and what isn’t.  I have never had more clarity than I do now.

There will be #nowhiteflags in my life.

There will be no defining my life based on a diagnosis, belief system, race, gender, economic status.

Because my future is bigger than my past……….

And I am excited.

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