I haven’t been sleeping well lately.
The hormone therapy I am on for the cancer, has brought on menopause “fast and furious.” The hot flashes are intense, and I find myself in the a tug of war with my bedding every night as the fan sits inches away from my body in oscillation mode, desperately trying to keep me cool.
It doesn’t stop there though….there are also leg pains. Sometimes its moderate, and at other times, its so bad, its all I can do not to cry out in pain. It pretty much sucks.
Needless to say….
I haven’t been sleeping well.
When I do not sleep well, my mind tends to wander, and creates (not so nice) scenarios for my life.
This is definitely not good, as I am not one to be moved by fear. (anymore)
Meditation plays a huge part of my healing process, and I am of the mindset that my body was created to heal itself, therefore, I need to give it the space and environment to do just that.
Because creativity is such a huge part of my overall life, I decided to include the process into my meditation practice.
So in the morning my routine is to get up, grab my coffee and do my first 20 minute meditation session. Then I head outside to my backyard, with some basic art supplies, (watercolors, paper, music, brushes) and will continue in my meditative space while pushing around color for another 20 minutes.
I have no end in mind. In fact, I try to keep my mind as clear as possible and just use intuition in pushing the color around.
When I am done. I put it all away. I don’t revisit it or try to process it.
Its a surrender of sorts to allow what’s in to come out with no judgement.
It’s self care.