The Heart of a Suppressed Dreamer.

Today’s post is written by our Brave Writer, Jazmyne Tamar Johnson
This poem is a revised rewrite of a piece I had composed earlier this year.

Forsaking all others, I’ve isolated myself to find the girl that I used to know.
Her smile a beacon in the darkest abyss; a hope recalled to the lost joy hidden in soiled dreams.
Windows into my soul no longer found in mirrors shattered with unfamiliar gazes.
I’ve lost myself before I knew who I was.
Where do lost identities run to when their hosts cast them out into exile?
Are they suppressed and buried beneath the dirt of our falsehoods or are they the unrest in our minds as we lay awake at night desiring for ourselves to be loved? Our strange and newly-foreign selves.
Is there anything that I can do to find myself?
Is there anywhere I can go where directions shall be granted, pointing me in alignment with my destiny?

Perhaps, the girl I used to know has aged since our last encounter and she’s simply unhappy with the woman she’s become. Perhaps, she never really knew herself in the first place and she’s been clawing at my mind to free her from the grave I so eagerly buried her in. Perhaps, my questioning presents opportunities for her release from the realms of memories and into the reality of the present.


Upon her release, hell shall tremble for all of the flames shall be consumed by her passion,
and a chilled fear shall ensue its eternal wrath upon the gates that opened themselves to her
once upon a nightmare.
Her eyes shall be guided by the Holy Truth
for in her blindness she has learned The Shepherd’s voice.
He has called her to greatness-a destiny surpassing the reaches of her vast imagination.

Her faults have been transformed into testimonies. Her tears into laughter.
The sins have been erased by His blood
and the chains that once bound her have been broken and
metamorphosed into chains of thanksgiving and praise,
now worn as jewels in her crown.
Her wounds have become scars and her scars marks emanating perseverance and beauty.
Her whereabouts known by her Father as being where she was “supposed to be.”

It is in this emergence that glory is born.
For in the cries of the broken there is praise for the breakthrough.
In the midst of trial there is a call for the witness.
Her verdict is innocence by grace and salvation by mercy.
Her jury is scripture of promise and fulfillment.
And her calling is ENDURANCE.
For her story shall call to the hearts of the bound and broken,
the chastised and the rebuked.
Her pain a token of her martyrdom in herself
and glory shall be delivered to God in all that she pursues.

For she is a dreamer and she has been awakened.

Jazmyne is zealous for seeing God’s love reflected in the lives of the broken-spirited and the oppressed. She aspires to use her writing as a means to communicate His love to the world. Her dream is to help raise a generation of Christ-like individuals who help to bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth. You can read more of her work on her blog:

photo credit: h.koppdelaney

2 thoughts on “The Heart of a Suppressed Dreamer.

  1. Oh my… It amazes me how The Lord uses people and words to inspire, encourage, and support…. ironically, just like satan uses people and words to break us, this post spoke straight to my heart, in the deepest realm. It’s like this was written just for me. Oh, just pray for strength and courage… for the Lord to fill me with all the things that I need to overcome my shame, guilt, worthlessness, and disgust I feel about myself. Ireally need to create a blog. I can write (or type 😉 ) so much better than speak. I get tongue twisted and sound stupid, I find it hard to put my words I want to say. to get them to come out of my mouth correctly… sounds crazy. Journaling, writing has definitely been a tremendous help to me. Thank you for this…. this woman (locked in a child’s mind thinking) is trying to figure out how to comfort that little girl I see in my mind, to let her know everything is ok and I am going to protect her. I’m ready to face her, and feel all that she has hidden, I am acknowledging her pain, hurt, betrayal, and the long list of negativity she has believed… the LIES! She is beginning to replace that old awful recording that she has heard all her life with God’s Truth, The Truth of who I am in Him! Satan has controlled my mind long enough 40 years, now it’s time to live in freedom!

  2. Pingback: The Precious.

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