I have heard it said that the hardest phase for the cancer patient is not the treatment itself, but the waiting to determine if the therapy worked.
The “What If”
What if the treatment didn’t work?
What if the tumor is still there?
What if the cancer spread?
You can still have faith, and yet, at times be distracted over the what ifs.
And the what if’s come sent to us in all different covers.
What if, I can’t pay my bills?
What if, I lose my job?
What if, I can’t find a job?
What if, my child makes a poor decision?
We each, can fill in the blanks to our own “What if” statement.
However, this is what I am learning in my waiting phase.
What if, I didn’t open the doors and let the ocean breeze blow through? Because I don’t want my floors to get dusty.
What if, I missed the opportunity to sit with one of my children and just talk about anything and everything? For hours.
What if, I didn’t embrace the kisses of my husband even when they come in the middle of the grocery store or a crowded parking lot?
What if, I missed the moment to give generously to another because I was too afraid in the not enough for me? Or because I was bound by the “rules” of where I am supposed to give.
What if, I didn’t take the time in the silence to just listen? And BE. Or not BE anything.
I dont want to live in the What if’s, but the I will’s .
I will give, I will embrace, I will listen, I will be still, I will be present.
Where does your “What if” and “I will” collide?
And what if, you said, I will instead…
Living Brave with you,
Photo Cred: Mikko Luntiallo