Transitions

Transition: change, passage, move,transformation, conversion, metamorphosis, alteration, shift, switch, jump, leap,progression; progress, development, evolution, flux.

medium_2863552375

I sat on the edge of the bed, with my suitcase packed, looking at the phone in my hand.

I had just hung up with my husband and he asked me, “Are you ready to come home?”

The answer came out of my mouth faster than it probably should have.

“No.” I replied.  “I don’t want to come home.”  “That’s not my home.”

Just a couple weeks before, we sold our house of 13 years and moved to an adorable little house in a beach community.

Our kids were now all grown and moving in different directions and we decided to start over again.  He and I.  Making plans for the second half of our lives, living out some dreams, and enjoying the new freedom of it just being about us.

Packing up that house didn’t seem much of a big deal.  Moving our oldest out into his own apartment seemed natural.  Moving into the new house, was exciting.  Getting our daughter ready for college was just part of the plan.

UNTIL.

I sat 2,000 miles away, having just said goodbye to my youngest in her dorm on campus and facing the 4.5 hour trip back to Los Angeles to nothing that I could grasp in my hands.

So when Mike asked me, if I wanted to come home, I did, but not to that house.

I wanted to go back to the familiar.

I wanted to drive into 655 Shasta Drive, walk through the doors, complain about the stains on the carpet, climb up the stairs and crawl into my bed and grieve the transitions of so much.

Cancer, parenting, marriage, church, community, home, relationships.  

The plane ride was rough.  I had to fight back tears for almost 5 hours.  I stared out the airplane window and watched the sunset, as God gently whispered.

“I am your familiar.”

And he is.

And so was my husband as he picked me up from the airport and embraced me in his arms.

He is my familiar.

I still cry as I slowly make this house my home.

IMG_1008

There is definitely grace in the grieving of change.

Transition, just another part of our BRAVE journey’s.

photo credit: Stellas mom via photopin cc

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Transitions

    1. I hate this crap. Totaly relate. I’ve been in transistion the last year and still don’t feel familiar. Left the church where I was worship pastor for over 10 years, and had relationships for 20, they still wont talk to me…been divorced for 18 years and now all my kids have moved on so theres nothing to fix, no one to save…just the deafening sound of “now what do I do?”…consider yourself blessed that someone with skin on answers the door…(not that it helps much)…”Christ in me” my only hope…

      1. Thank you for your deep vulnerability. You are BRAVE my friend. Christ “IN” you. Your hope, your familiar. Praying that God will reveal himself to you through something, someone other than the institution, where wounding seems to happen more often than not. He is everywhere. On the journey with you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s